CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX BELOW: BLACK SCREEN
- Hey, what's on TV today? Thierry Leray
did not want to leave. A persistent cold keeps him at home. He flips through the TV magazine, distributed with the newspaper authoritatively on Sunday.
TF1: His Master's Voice.
6 h 35: TF1 Info-morning. Live with Nicolas Sarkozy, from his bedroom.
President sings La Marseillaise. Viewers have a chorus.
6 h 40: Sarko-KIDS cartoons: Episode No. 3 " Petit Nicolas "film" Iznogoud. Chat with Petit Louis Sarkozy: "Good luck, my dad! .
9 h 00: Weather presented from the Elysee Palace by President Sarkozy.
9 h 10: Auto-moto. Report on the radar. The car of President Sarkozy. Cecilia driving. "How to mock with impunity from traffic, the driver of the President.
10 h 00: Telefoot.
Report on the Football Club of Neuilly. The skinheads PSG models of fair play. International Meeting between the team of the Prefecture de Police de Paris and the selection of the Guards of President Gbagbo.
12 h 05: Warning Walking! Climb the Elysee!
Great interactive game today with the participation of Nicolas Sarkozy,
13 h 00: LOG presented by Patrick Pepper Ball.
The surprise guest is President Sarkozy.
13 h 25: Sarkoman, Texas Ranger, American series.
Episode # 28: Sarkoman disservice to GW Bush. It stops Bin Laden, the Dalton Brothers, Robin Hood, the strangler of Yorkshire, Vidocq, the Beagle Boys and Arsene Lupin.
14: 20 pm A Table! Cooking show, presented by Jean-Pierre Gauffre.
Today: At the Table of the president. The cuisine of his ancestors. Cecilia in the kitchen: her specialty, language and stuffed gazelle horns.
15 h 40: The Fabulous Destiny of the UMP, cultural show hosted by Arlene and David Cabot Passalis.
16 h 55: Video gag: The most hilarious moments of the campaign of candidate Nicolas Sarkozy
17 h 55: The Strongest Link. The candidates are the day Baron Seilliere, Paul-Louis Sulitzer, Bernard Tapie, Laurence Parisot, Thierry Desmarest, Serge Dassault and Thierry Breton. The game is to destroy opponents. All shots are allowed.
18 h 50: News Magazine of the UMP, led by Patrick Devedjian.
19 h 30: At your invective ! Duel of ignonimie.
Semifinal between Eric and Bruno Gollnicht stew.
20 h 00: JOURNAL Claire Rug.
Do not miss the ritual recapitulation of the doings of the day of Nicolas Sarkozy.
21 h 05: GREAT MOVIE: BRIGADE WITH THE ANTI-GANG.
Action film Thierry Rolland and Alain Glucksmann, with Jean Reno, Jean-Marie Bigard and Jaquouille. A gang of thugs that North African terror in his city. But Commissioner FuckFace uses the beefy brigade anti-gang that bring order and deport the scum.
22 h 45: Update on eviction day. Magazine hosted by Vincent Lagaff '.
23 h 12: THE SECOND FILM EVENING: There's NO FLASH, RIGHT! Film
reality TV with the Gendarmes Morons of the 5th Company, under the direction of Castaldi father, son and without spirit.
1 h 15: In addition to the film, Charles Pascaca, my master.
A historical document featuring one of the largest police last century. With the exceptional participation of Nicolas Sarkozy.
2 h 25: Erotic Film: LIFT THE LEG!
A masterpiece Bitenfer Joel (2001), Golden Phallus to Frequently Asked Pigs Brive-la-Gaillarde. With the lovely Cecilia
XXL, Roselyne Bachelor Christine Boudin, and super-male Edward Ballamou, Jean-Pierre Raffarin and Raymond Babarre.
4 h 15: Sarkozi anyway?
A comedy show presented by Arthur, devoted to the humor of Nicolas S.
5 h 15: The animal life of the president.
Today: Pepete his favorite frog and Nin-nin, teddy bear of his childhood.
FRANCE 2 Chain in my boot.
2 hours 25 before the rising of Our Beloved President: Sarko-MEDIA, an anthology of his doings in the presence of all His familiar.
4 h 11: THE BROOM! Making information on evictions, sponsored by the firm Kärcher brushes and O'Cedar.
6 am 20: Stars that I like: Bigard, Keyboard, Bean Macias, Johnny Doc'Gynécon, etc ...
Bands that I like. The songs that I sing when I shave in the morning.
7 h 00: Rain on the country. My weather to me. Usually made by Me.
7 am 15: Flash-Info: What am I doing today?
7 h 30: THE DAY OF OUR LORD:
Bishop 23 1 / 2, the Chief Rabbi Six Tips and Imam Boubecoeur Darticho celebrate, each in its liturgy, My glory, and incidentally, that of his God.
10 h 00: Mass live from the Basilica of Saint Nicolas de Neuilly-sur-Seine.
12 h 00: Draw Lotto and scratch crabs, by the vivacious Cécilia, helped by his little friend Richard Atlas. Presentation: Didier Rouston.
12 h 30: MY JOURNAL, live from my desktop, my interview with Elise Preferred Tusais.
13 h (13 h or 30, if I have a rather long speech pronunciation): I have an appointment with you. Cultural magazine and hosted by Laspales Chevalier (French Academy). This week: the last works of Nicolas Sarkozy.
14 h 00: SERIOUSLY ON SUNDAY. Entertainment
entertaining and exciting, driven by Michael Docker. Each week, the surprise guest is Nicolas Sarkozy.
19 h 00: Weekend Journal devoted to progress from the UMP
This week: on the road for the 75 millionth subscriber.
19 h 30: Sarko-sports program hosted by Lionel Chamoulot, Loana and Marielle Goitschell.
20 h 00: Evening News, live from my dining room.
the menu: My entry, My dish, Cecilia, her lovers, Petit Louis, and My My Belledoche Beauf, desserts and not forgetting My Licking my fingers.
20 h 45: My favorite mystery series:
BRINGS THE ACCUSED, 45th episode, repeated the President's request.
A former president, convicted of embezzlement and corruption, was sentenced to twenty years imprisonment. With, in the role of Jacques Ch ... himself.
22 h 08: My Favorite movie. [At the time of going to press, the President has not yet had time to make his choice, but well-informed journalists think he will decide between I am, I stay, the late Jean Lefebvre, and NOT TOUCH THE PARATROOPER with Gorfard Christmas. ]
23 h 35: Whether it's tiring to govern! The balance of my day. With laughter and song. This week with Line Renaud, Patricia Casse-c ... and Jean d'Ormesson.
24 h 00: Flash-Info: What have I done today? What shall I do tomorrow?
FRANCE 3: The closest distance of my constituents.
5 h 35: Mornings: in the gardens of the Elysee, in Neuilly, in the bathroom of my late friend Jean-Pierre and in the toilets of the dreadful Galouzeau.
6 h 00: Euronews. Information on the remains of Europe and on the love me wear our neighbors.
6 h 55: Raffarin and his friends, politically correct cartoon, in color.
8 h 00: REURONEWS.
8 h 19 '17'': Direct Expression: The Secretary General of the UMP speak.
10 h 00: 10 am REREURONEWS
67'175'': CHAIRMAN OF THE GYM.
11 h 00: The aperitif with Sarko, an issue of proximity.
12 h 00: JOURNAL OF REGIONS.
Today: the last expulsion of Malians, the mayor of Paris is ours (the duo-Panafieu Tiberi) of kärcher in Aubervilliers, in addition to the scum of La Garenne-Bezons the 13456th radar reported 53,450 Euros one week. .
13 h 00: NATIONAL JOURNAL Schönborloo presented by Beatrice. Guests of the day, the twins Jean-Louis Borloo Thierry Breton and talk about their favorite hairdressers.
14 h 00: International Tournament in Monaco.
tennis matches between Bebert Monac II 'and I myself, officiated by Daniel Ducruet. At stake is control of the gambling halls of Monte Carlo.
16 h (or 18 hours if I do not win fast enough): Film of the Afternoon. The Dirty Dozen
IN ELECTION CAMPAIGN (recall campaign that I won brilliantly), with the defeated candidates, these shabby.
19 h 15: rag and illiterate. The irresistible Luc Ferry against the brilliant Vincent Macdoom.
19 h 55: The weather in the evening. Sarkozy evening, hope.
20 h 55: A MUST PLEASE EVERYONE.
Magazine presented by Marc-Olivier Thaw and Guy Hachier.
Guests: Nicolas Sarkozy, his ministers, his wife, his mistresses, his cats, his servants (journalists) his dogs and his older brother William.
23 h 30: Keno game allowed me to fulfill the slush funds of the UMP
23 h 40: TO SLEEP!
Sleep well, good people in the suburbs, Sarkozy is keeping watch!
.
TOMORROW: Sarko-PLUS, film loop: savor the victory, a story by Yasmina Raze, and Jean Jacques Ségaga Nono.
- What a fine example of cultural openness. Good! The only remedy is to follow the advice of Boris Vian: I turn the screen against the wall and it is not out of snobbery ... Ah, but gently! This is not the ordinary television program, that ... Hmm ... Magfanzine TV, and toddlers characters "antisarko.com" ... it seemed a bit much. Another shot of the joker of Diaz, he had to drag this duck in my bag the other day. Bah! Programs called serious should not be more exciting ... A mug of Paulaner, a good book, it will do. Thierry Leray
absorbed again in the replay Thoughts ... Pierre Dac.
EDITOR'S NOTE: The television program before - obviously fanciful - was imagined at the beginning of the reign of Nicolas Petit. The omnipresence of television a person can seem grotesque. Today, the day after a "reality show" 90 minutes held by TF1 good friends, it seems that reality has far exceeded any caricature. For two years, has stepped hyper antics, posturing, contradictions, provocations, displaying his private life, his whims and hatreds, triggering each week two or three ridiculous controversy over the facts: The trip to Disneyland with Carlita, the "break up pov 'con!" exhibition of agriculture, baffouillement drunkard in Putin's appointment of Prince John in EPAD, the saber-rattling against the bankers, threats, grimaces, the heel and footboard to make it bigger deal for Obama ... and developing more ... Not to forget the blunders of the courtiers, the baby of Rachel, the barking of Lefebvre, millions of vaccine Roselyne, fine jokes to Hortefeux Auvergne, the contest between boorishness Besson, Balkany and Raoult. Never
no French head of state has behaved as vulgar, was so inspired comedians, has caused so much ridicule. And French public opinion is still almost asleep by a press to boot. The correspondents of foreign media are watching with pity. The French, who once made fun of Berlusconi neighbor and some exotic dictators, they deserve it? Response in 2012.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: NEW Stylites
The lendebain batin, still enrhubé, Thierry Leray is from his cozy bed with a symphony of sirens, shots brakes, doors slammed, interjections, and rumblings of confabulations. Throughout the street, several fire trucks, ambulances and mobile police vans make up a national flag reversed. But what's going on?
Since sunrise is the signal for battle in the neighborhood. The police, rescue workers, journalists, onlookers coalesce before the metal barriers around the ruins of the ancient castle. But what does he do? Three individuals
gesticulating at the top of the wall above, near the statue of the Blessed Virgin. Using a megaphone, they preach and harangue the public meeting at their feet. The most vehement was Rev. Mironton, recently returned from the nursing home where he was interned after the scandal of the second baptism. His two assistants are Miquet brother, his parishioners lately. That Madam
Director of the Ecole Sainte-Marie, who was first alerted. Already in her sleep, she thought discern clatter of glass, then she returned to her angelic dream, believing hear a xylophone in heaven. It was only a bottle of lemonade breakaway by Andrew Miquet, who tumbled down the stairs. A second crack, metal this time, "said Madam Director descend from the clouds where it floated benignly. It was the top of the stairs, unwelded, loosened, torn, which collapsed in the yard. The Miquet, skilled handymen, came to destroy the only means of access to the statue - the only way for them to come down.
An hour later, access the school was closed to students and teachers, to their great joy, and the area around the castle was invested by a detachment of mobile police, until the landing of the helicopter GIGN
The curious reader asks: What are the Rev. Mironton Miquet and the culmination of the city? Do they have a special devotion to Mary, Mother of God? Nay! They are perched in the roost to divine the best catechize Decizois of weak faith to to avert unrest in this world and make them understand the True Way. In the manner of Daniel Stylites, Simeon Simeon the Elder or the Younger, who spent part of their lives doing penance on columns or steep rocks, they climbed the stairs, corkscrew, is Refugees are on the narrow platform and have removed any link with the ground. Reverend And
, manic, burning with a holy enthusiasm, claims in his songs and recites rap
"Hallelujah! Thanks be to God / Oh Yeah!
It was he who raised us / Oh Yeah! It
He drew us / Oh Yeah!
It is he who has flown / Oh Yeah!
At the top of the stairs / Oh Yeah ... "
From his window, Thierry Leray contemplates preparations for the assault. In this year when France commemorates Vauban, a great taker of cities as far as engineering fortifications, seeing the one hand the deployment of the assailants and the other fortifications of the besieged, the editor thinks the curtains, crosstie, half-moons, and the bastions seconded to contravallation, trenches approach, casings, mines, gunfire, to banging in the walls and jets of hot oil from battlements.
Suddenly, above him, footsteps echoing in the attic. A sniper was introduced by a skylight and seeking the best position to hold when shooting.
Downstairs, the front door, Chief Warrant Officer Caillac holds forth with the local correspondent of the Journal of the Centre and the head of the Red Cross. They list the past misdeeds of Reverend Mironton and plan to expel definitively this madman and his henchmen on a desert island. Thierry Leray
unable to attend the events. He sees neither the arrival of humming Airborne Commando GIGN or watering tear gas (including respiratory discomfort spread over the entire city), nor the rise of black hooded ninjas, or the ultimate defense of Miquet excited, or the swan song of the Reverend:
"Yahweh is justice and mercy, we
Our God will avenge
Yahweh defends small
I was weak, he saved me,
You were violent, he will punish you! "
No, Thierry Leray will know the outcome until the next morning, reading the newspaper and listening to departmental detailed reports of two witnesses trustworthy: the Jean-Paul Ragot factor and the baker brings me Rondot. The frenzied
were asphyxiated in laughing gas, belted, cuffed, clamped in straitjackets, airlifted and taken to the nearest specialist hospital where they underwent a few injections of sedatives and truth serum. A
Decize the mayor, his deputy Urban, Chief Warrant Officer Caillac fire captain and established a provisional assessment the day after the "scandal of rappers mystics" the stairs to the statue of Virgin is completely destroyed several walls the old castle may crumble, the roof of St. Mary School was torn in several places by projectiles thrown by both attackers and by the besieged, five cars parked in the vicinity have been adversely affected Several panes of nearby houses were shattered, thirty people are being treated in the emergency department of the hospital to have inhaled the tear gas, asphyxiating and hilarious (one of them lost his sight, another can not recover from an inextinguishable laughter).
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHTH IT'S THE FALL
While police put an end to the intolerable scandal of the "Three Decizois Stylites," the publisher was a great phone conversation with Jean-Pierre Mourlon. In Gstaad
too, the situation was worrying and needed to redefine the strategy. Mourlon had learned from his informant Marlies, the scented pillow of his hotel room, the Swiss Federal Police would proceed shortly to the arrest of Joel Lenoir. Despite the protections available to him, and because of the fighting spirit of a little judge, the Sherlock decizois might be extradited to France. That's why it was appropriate to consider: should implement the plan "Bird in Cage" or go to plan B "Let the merino piss?
But unfortunately, this very morning, at the instant when the police patrol canton of Bern, supported by two federal agents and a Legal Attaché of the Embassy of France, entered the prestigious villa rented by the novelist exile, it glided through the back door, followed by his wife, children, bodyguards and chauffeur in a Mercedes 4x4 somehow packed into the vehicle, the fugitives had taken the road of Saanen, followed by five police cars, sirens blaring. Mourlon Juliénas and had indeed tried to join this lawsuit, but Logan's computer lacked power and our two friends lost sight of Lenoir and his suite on the fifth turn ...
However, the track was not lost. By the merest chance, and Mourlon Julienas, ashamed and confused, ruminating their failure to counter Bankers Bar and Discrete, two stools away, a guy was reading the stock market page of Le Figaro. He too was shot. The actions of the CAC 40 could not take off, and some even diving; the election of Nicolas Sarkozy, had no effect on the French economy; Arnaud Legude - because then it sunk Mourlon recognized disappointed - former election agent of the new small chair, thought to make a fortune and he invested all his savings and those of its parent EADS shares in the budding politician understood now that the campaign promises only bind those who do not care and he now thought of returning to France to resume his law studies and his training for rowing. His stay in Gstaad, get him away from the rise of a brilliant career, had cost him eyes of the head and he had twice approached Johnny, he had glimpsed Christian Clavier and Claude Allegre few seconds in a cocktail; Hortefeux had lied shamelessly about an internship at the Ministry of Works Finishes mandatory and, in a hallway of Hotel Schweizer, Balkany had slipped him a note of five Swiss francs, taking him for a bellboy - supreme insult!
But still every morning he wore his T-shirt "Everything becomes possible with Nicolas," hung around his heart badge "Nicolas President" is wearing a cap "The Students with Sarkozy, put on his sneakers "UMP" and putting on his socks "Sarko-FEET WARM. Not forgetting his lighter, his sunglasses, his watch, bracelet, mobile phone, a wallet adorned with all the photo of the IDOL or hit the magic symbol. No, Arnaud Legude was not the first disappointment Sarkozyism. He was just helpless ... What
right moment to approach and "work"! Jean-Paul
Mourlon, defer veteran knew sniff worry, he knew the cause effusions, the confidences. And Alexis knew Juliénas exploit his former commitment ideological wave belonging to the circle UMP Decize, motivated primarily by the hope of getting a new computer if they win election; yet to confirm a promise ...
Three bottles of vodka did the trick. Of vodka "Little Father of the People to 175 Swiss francs per liter. Mourlon looked thoughtfully at his credit card ... If
Legude was so distraught, he was certain that Lenoir was even more disoriented than he. Pursued by the French courts and by the Swiss police, he would not run very far. Political friends that had approached Legude in Gstaad were not so long arm might hope that a simple crime writer regionalist. No question of a golden exile in Juppe, or hideouts in the Colonna! If Lenoir wanted to avoid, for him to get by ... with the Schengen area, all Europe would soon be at his heels. It only remained to find a chain of mercenaries in Chechnya and exfiltrate or Baghdad! The vodka was its effect, Legude sputtered increasingly, it flickered on his stool. Mourlon Juliénas him and fired all around the nose, it should remain as vapors of alcohol and resentment of the usual drunken upset:
- Pasque, I j'vous the ddddis, merde / Someone I tell Jo-jo-ELE, the Jo-jo-jo, it's wrong and 'jojo Polizist when will the al-al- al-l'alpaguer. And I, I, I tell qu'ça wrong and 'jou-jou-joy in his po-po-po-mates. The Jo-jo-jo-ny that the invitation-vi-vitait its booms, was also going and 'worrisome that sequins, not worried. Well done louse-lice-man for himself, to c'prétentiard. Two Ôôôptic Milleuh! Cui-Que asshole here! Z'auriez ch'tite not yet a bottle, or a bottom of glass? Boy, that's my account, a final ! No, louse-lice-why-qu'vous Vou Vou not want? Me, me, I always always pe-pe-paid recta here. So just a finger co-co-cognac. Nico is my friend-co-cola me con-con-advised v'nir here. So you should do ga-gaga gaffe, notSurpise is pre-pre-pre-ceding a great country. I do vavava a bite of yer Switzerland if you m'cherchez of new new new noises! It's not a penguin, my Nico! Arnaud Legude
Abandoning his complaints and his bluster, Jean-Pierre and Alexis Mourlon Juliénas returned to their hotel room to connect Thierry Leray's latest Gstaad.
Mourlon hangs up the handset. Last night at Gstaad. What to do? asks the journalist. Exit at Sammy's with Marlies? Verification of gossip to dispatch the tabloids? Or, intrusion pellet in a pince-cheek mundane as the day before yesterday at the Baron Munchausen, a true descendant of the other, and Mogul industry?
In the next room, Alexis Juliénas recovered his computer. A reflex. He can not live thirty seconds disconnected from the web.
Mourlon opens the closet, chooses a purple shirt, a matching tie, cufflinks bearing the Swiss flag (a gift from Marlies). It spreads all over the bedspread and started to undress when he hears a scream coming from next door:
- In the lake! As Odile! It is in the lake!
- Who is in the lake? What lake?
- Black Thun, not the lake of Thun. The lake is black. Lenoir is in the lake. I found the info on Swissnews.com. A check on the radio.
Indeed, two reports on the opening of the new tunnel of Martigny and the Feast of carnations in Vevey, Radio Suisse Romande announcement in a brief flash of the accident which occurred at a heavy all-terrain vehicle : Chased by police patrols, the driver missed a corner overlooking Lake Thun. The car and its passengers were not found. But one thing is certain: Among the victims was a French novelist, in conflict with the justice of his country. Jean-Pierre
Mourlon crushes a tear
- Yet I ended up enjoying it. At least with him was an adventure.
- You bet! Adventures in fake. Me J'lui never forgive his betrayal. He made me work for nights and it was another who had the jackpot.
- is in the air. Think of the pseudo-open Sarko. The peephole, cuckolds and suckers are all in the same bag. Lenoir and this falls into the water when it was ... Ah, but he took good for Sherlock Holmes, Lenoir?
- Yes, so what?
- So then, if I recall, Conan Doyle had killed his detective in Switzerland. Wait ... It's in the corner ... in Reichenbach. Hey, I got a prospectus from Marlies. The Reichenbach Falls near Meiringen, is close to the lake of Thun. Sherlock was struggling with his mortal enemy and the infamous Moriarty both, they made the plunge.
- Not possible. A hero of romance does not die.
- If Sherlock is dead. And, as readers were the face, Conan Doyle resurrected.
- Lenoir you think?
- Why not?
- On Easter morning, the disciples found the tomb empty ...
- When we learned of the death of Odile, I said "Never two without three." Now he will have to change the proverb ...
- is the title of your next article?
- No, I understand a guy Decize had already started a book about Lenoir, Garnier and Co. ...
to read and reread on a blog ... of désécriture, it seems ...
* F * I * N *
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